Grrrrrrritch.

I started a blog this morning about how awful my mood was, about how I woke up feeling so groggy and out of sorts. After two paragraphs it sounded suspiciously like whining. I am not a whiner. I erased. I filtered. That’s better for us all.

I seem to always have this sort of work “hangover” after a Monday night Trustee meeting. What is it about Trustee’s business that is so draining? Oh, yes. I don’t care. Oh, that’s harsh. What I mean is if you were to ask me what is most important, most meaningful, most pressing of my time and energy, I would put the Trustee’s agenda on the bottom of the list, just above keeping my files organized. Last night at our meeting we talked about: the parking lot cracks and new striping (you can’t even see where the parking stalls are anymore); bundling the telephone and internet; a laptop purchase; certain leaks in the ceiling; switching the trash service; options for snow removal…

You were bored reading that list, were you not? I had to sit through the 90 minute meeting.
I’m not saying that all such matters are unimportant, woe to the church that neglects them. I realize that the care we take of our building is a key part of our hospitality to guests. I want my house clean when people come over for dinner. I want the church in great shape when members and friends stop by. I just don’t want to deal with it the minutiae of it all. (at work I mean, I do clean my own house!) I want others with the spiritual gift of building maintenance to sit in on those meetings and take care of the decisions and leave me, pastorally, out of it.

It is all part of the struggle that is continually before me: How can I spend my time doing the things that I am best at and hand off responsibility of the rest to those who can excel in areas where I do not? That’s what makes for team, right? That’s what ensures that the pastor does not have control and responsibility for everything. That’s what makes for a healthier church. It seems so clear when I talk about it in theory. And so murky when I think about actually extricating myself from Trustee meetings.

On Tuesday morning I see again the great size of the gap between what could be and what is. I realize it’s up to me to make the changes, no one else will “fix” my work flow or job responsibilities for me. Though I’m not sure what a path to different functioning looks like. Guess I’ll pray about that one. Seems a pastoral kind of thing to do.